Diary of a Punter Check Up: 200% Profit So Far

The Dr’s nine-week check up.

In you come. Take off your trousers. Jesus Christ I am so sorry I thought you were someone else. With only shit games this week it’s a good time to have a look at my season so far. Things were getting a bit crazy. But you can’t be crazier than my two pals in Thailand: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsSV5-mgPN0&feature=plcp please tell me you just looked at that.

Anyway, I’m not in Thailand any more, I’m in Tallahassee, Florida. With the aid of my supercomputer, some Mountain Dew, some superhuman luck, some wild nights, some wilder mornings and some fucking bad luck I have tripled my money. In the long-term, I am trying to prove that it is possible with the right level of research to make considerable profit throughout the season. My biggest downfall is my inability to kick the impulse betting.

For example/ this weekend I have been watching and following games that I placed my bets on before the weekend. Fully (but not overly) researched and documented. Sweet. Then I get up this morning, open the laptop and bang shitloads on Sri Lanka in-play to win the one-day cricket. Muggy. I need a bodyguard. Luckily (as I have been quite a bit recently – except this weekend) just as Sri Lanka were on the verge of getting easily beaten (backed at 8/15, re-backed at 4/6, re-re-backed at 6/4) it started pissing down. And didn’t stop. Someone up there was smiling at me. Let’s hope it wasn't Uncle Jim.

I got off the hook big-time this morning. Must learn lesson. *wipes mouth, moves on* but stupid bets like these aside (which are few and far between thesedays) I’m doing ok. Having taken the advice of a Tibetan monk I used to drink with I didn’t place any serious bets on the opening weeks of the season and on September the 14th my baby, DIARY OF A PUNTER was born.

Nine weeks later here we are. After a good start (four profitable diaries in a row), I made losses in four of the next five, found myself back where I started and have kicked on again since. Obviously, good luck/bad luck will more or less even itself out over the season but suck me sideways I was one Chelsea win away from something huge this weekend. And a stoke draw too. One goal in each game away from a 53/1 and a 27/1. Boo fucking hoo. No one cares no one cares no one cares. Still, profit (albeit small) was made and I am just short of +200% profitable:


I’m still fucked off with Chelsea for not putting Liverpool to bed. So many chances. That blue line would have rocketed. I hope Chelsea finish fifth by a point now and iron man John Terry never recovers. That looked like it fucking hurt and I’m glad. Captain, Leader, Prick.

Hit me up, @drtwerp for my surgery, my roots lie in actually helping people out with problems not necessarily medical but spiritual stuff, moral dilemmas, ethical issues, human rights etc. but since I lost my Dr’s badges (i swear to god i did not touch them I was getting something off them) I just talk bollocks about betting and wind people up.

This really is the greatest country in the world goddammit.

With no bets for me this weekend (the majority of my bets are in the top two leagues in England) I’ll have my bets on @thatsagoal for the Thursday/Friday. If you are betting on anything this week remember what my dad told me: If you can’t be lucky be yourself, that’s what’s REALLY cool.

Enjoy your betting Regulators. Mount up…

Here’s another one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhxz32fp2vs get on the face

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